Social Media on Valentines Day

I wrote this exactly one year ago and not one person “liked” it. Yes, I do see the irony in that statement. Shush! New followers, let’s change that ;)
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By now, we are all aware of the destructive affects of social media: Facebook, Instagram and so on. We all know that our friends only post their happy moments; their crème de la crème times. We know this because we do the exact same. Looking at my own Facebook page, I recently posted a bathroom selfie in my interview dress, a picture of myself holding a “yay” sign at my sister’s wedding and a photo of my best friend and I on my Graduation Day. What I didn’t publicise to the internet world was completely blanking out when asked my first interview question or the horrific wardrobe malfunction I experienced with my Maid of Honor dress (let’s just say the fitting room lighting did a great job at hiding its see-throughness!) nor did I post about bursting into tears when I felt the entire world (weather, time, my own body etc) was acting against my expectations on graduation.

Valentines Day. During my past relationships, I posted pictures of my jumbo sized pooh bear, my actual-velvet box of chocolates, my dozen red roses and my V Day steak. What I didn’t post about was patently hinting for those specific gifts sometimes 2 months prior, the many pointless arguments in between the gifts (always sparked by mundane matters) and the awkward “how would you like to pay? separately or together” moments at the restaurant counter.

Only now, after residing in singleton/town for a some time have I began to understand the damaging potential of such archetypal, seemingly perfect V day posts on social media. The great Theodore Roosevelt’s advises us that, “comparison is the thief of joy”. This we’ve all heard and all know to be true yet still cannot help but do. In fact, I think it’s borderline impossible not to see our lives (and ourselves) as inferior compared to the individuals who’ve just received 100 red roses and/or a surprise getaway to Vanuatu. And even if deep down, we know that that (roses/Vanuatu) is not their complete reality, we cannot help but think so. We compare. I know I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being cynical. I’m merely sharing my own personal thoughts. For if our significant other gifts/surprises us with or plans for us a (insert romantic gesture here) what is it that drives us to share this particular act with the internet world? We as a generation (myself included) place so much effort in publicising our seemingly flawless moments (not just on V day but undoubtedly, these posts are more prominent during this holiday) that it almost feels as if these precious occasions, these valuable affairs would lose their significance if they’re not “shared”. Put not so politely; how f’d up is that?

Which is why I’ve come to the realisation that it should really be the opposite, shouldn’t it? Maybe our rarest, most unique and intimate moments should be unpublished. Solely reserved to be shared (as in real life shared not FB shared) and treasured between us and our significant others. Isn’t that what makes such moments so special in the first place? I know what you’re thinking, that I’m picking on V day because I’m single and bitter and heck, that may very well be the case but… All I know is, Valentines Day is a couple week away and it wouldn’t hurt if we thought twice before hitting the ‘post’ button. Though there is an exception if I happen to meet my future lover in the next 12 days and he gifts me something awesome.

23 comments

  1. I would Like this for last year and this one if that were possible :) Very well said. I actually decided to severely cut down my Facebook time recently and be really picky about what I posted myself. I ask myself now before I post that picture on Instagram or Facebook what my motivations are. Am I trying to make it seem like my life is super cool? Am I just wanting validation from others? Not seeing what everyone else is doing all the time and actually talking to my friends and those I want to talk to has made such a difference. I’m so much happier and focus on more important things (like blogging!) and there’s this great freedom attained, at least for me, in not sharing what I’m doing every waking moment and having those memories just for myself and those I might share them with. I’ll still keep my fingers crossed for you to meet your future lover though so you can post a picture of the cool gift they give you :)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Jackie, you know when somene says something lovely to you and you don’t know what to say but just feel all fuzzy and warm? That’s how your comment has made me feel :) Thank you xx I will also try to do the same as you say with Facebook. I’ve no doubt it will make a huge difference on my life. I often post things on FB and Insta to promote my blog.. because it’s my dream to write for a living.. I think that maybe if I acquire a large following then that’ll lead to an open door but that’s stressing too… So, I’ll aim for moderation.

      Like

      1. I know that feeling well and I’m so glad my comment made you feel that way :) That’s a really good point you make about using IG and FB for your blog too. I have my blog set up to automatically post to my 2 Facebook pages but I’ve definitely noticed a dip in interaction since I don’t share them on my personal Facebook page as often since I don’t go on as often. That’s my long winded way of saying I think moderation is a great idea!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Cari Chronicles and commented:
    I totally agree. I think that if there are less v-day related posts on my feed, I’ll be less likely to post mine or to compare my beau’s gifts and efforts to others’.

    Let’s do this… Or not…. I’ll just deactivate on Feb 14. :D

    Liked by 1 person

  3. One thing my partner and I have not ever celebrated is actually Valentines day. We both see the day as quite forced and understand that it doesn’t truly reflect what our version of real love is. For us, it’s those days when they do something sweet for you just because, like buy your favourite chocolate bar or leave a lovely note for you to come home to. Grandiose expressions of love…hmm, I suppose for me particularly it’s the small private moments that mean most. The ones that happen when no one is watching. Also neither of us use FB so that probably also explains why we’re not too showy about our love for each other. I really enjoyed this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on social media and valentines day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for commenting. You’re right real love is in the little day by day, private moments. I envy you for not having FB! I wish I could quit mine.. but that’s where 99% of my blog views are from! Alas, I shall practice moderation :) Thank you again xx

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  4. The dating / courting game is so hard to play. I loved your comment regarding patently dropping hints for the type of gift you would like – I accept unreservedly that men are pretty useless in this regard. However, most men I know place absolutely no weight on Valentines Day. They prefer to display their love and affection on a daily basis, by doing things like asking for a back scratch, or asking where did you put my socks, and of course what’s for dinner? Great post and I hope that your V Day is everything you want it to be. For me and my wife – I guess we might dream and fondly remember the times when we were single.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Interesting post.

    I’m not on FB anymore. I avoided it for a long time, then fell down the rabbit-hole. Then some bad things happened. Some deservedly, some undeserved. In both cases FB or my social media was a factor or at least involved.

    I agree we need to keep some things sacred or special. If everyone on the web gets to see my weekend with my wife and have an opinion about it, then it loses value.

    I hope you do find your future lover and the gifts are epic.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Good post! Really glad I am enjoying the offline world and gladly my wife does the same. We used to spend alot of time on various social media accounts, but as we decided to step down (basically close down all accounts) we got time to do more things together. Needless to say that precious moments are more precious if you don’t have to share it with the online community. Also wrote a post regarding how social media may affect you real social life:

    https://andersbore.com/2016/01/22/your-social-network-size-is-already-determined/

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi! Following firstly for your awesome url, as I’m currently finishing two banana muffins LOL! But secondly to say even with a special someone for Valentine’s Day I am so over this holiday! I seem to have had a sudden epiphany that the only people benefiting are the corporations making money from the cards and gifts, and that I really shouldn’t need one day a year to know how much I’m loved or to make it clear in return. It’s really not about the Facebook moments. That said, I really do want my nicecream to look as pretty as some on Instagram!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What I will always remember most about Valentine’s Day does not come from the significant other I was sharing the “holiday” with. Instead, I remember when I was younger, and I would wake up to a nicely set up breakfast with Valentine’s Cards and chocolates ready for me from my parents. I would give up any other Valentine’s Day to have ones like those back. I also remember in school, handing out Valentine’s cards. I think I did it all the way up to Grade five and one of the other parents (of an EX best friend, for several reasons) asked, “Don’t you think you’re a bit OLD for that?” I thought it was sad that in a time where hate is shown more than love sometimes, on the one day where you were given a chance to show even more love, I was getting criticized for doing it. Those were the days where not everything was shared on Facebook and I miss them.
    This was a great post and congrats- 36 likes so far compared to last years ;) Happy Valentine’s Day in advance, no matter how you are (or are not) celebrating!

    Liked by 1 person

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