I’m Back!

Perhaps Alice
also felt
this freely trapped
and crowdedly alone
in wonderland.

The reason I write is to share my truth. It’s sort of like the philosophy for my blogging, if you will. So I will be honest with you. As I have been and I hope you know I have been through and through. Okay, here goes: leaving NZ a second time was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Period. I didn’t want to leave. NZ is so beautiful and my city, Christchurch is so nice. I wanted to stay in a place with family and friends, where I can drink the tap water and read the restaurant menus. Alas, I am back. Here by my own will (no one forced me). My main intention being that of growth. Growth as a person and as a writer. The former, I am certain has happened, for I am now Wonder Woman. I do everything here when I don’t speak the language. And I see snakes, many snakes everyday. As for the latter.. well, only time will tell. I watched a movie on the plane called 5 to 7 about a French woman having an affair and well, disregarding that, one of the character’s was an ambitious writer who SPOILER ALERT after countless unsuccessful attempts finally had something published for The New Yorker and then something else and something else and again and again…and yeah, I really hope that happens for me too, one day.

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17 comments

  1. Snakes, bad. Sandwich, good. Make tote bags, mugs, sheets, pillowcases, etc of your cut-fruit photo! Write: children’s books; how-to teach in Japan book; cookbook; memoirs; fun books. Submit to mags? Lots of people loving whatever you want to write!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Working on my memoir.. though I slowed down quite a bit! Went through a rough patch here.. didn’t want to do anything at all. Now slowly getting back into it.. I know everyone is always waiting for the right time and that the right time never comes, the right time is now etc but I sincerely believe when I leave, I’ll be in a better headspace to write. These days, I spend all my energy keeping on keeping on. Sounds melodramatic huh? Life’s not so bad.. I’m so so blessed but just finding these last months extra hard.

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  2. Okaerinasai, Anisakazemi-sensei!

    Man, I am so envious of you! I want to live in Japan too! But only in Akiba. My dream is to travel to Japan and live only in internet cafes and eat ramen from roadside stalls!

    And do kendo in the park! And go to a summer festival and eat candied apples!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Welcome back, we missed you!

    I had a very different experience. I never had any trouble leaving because I never had a “home”. Sure I had my mother and sisters and family but I never belonged anywhere and leaving was easy and I have done it many times.

    That says something.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The grass is always greener… your photos illustrate the contrast between the vast industrial sprawl at the beginning of your journey to your temporary home, in countryside Okayama. From a voice of experience, your location on the JET program is one of the best…it may not feel that way now, especially recovering from a wipeout & returning from your real home…but in a couple of years or even a decade or two, I am 100% certain you will have good memories and a ton of photos, pride in yourself for the challenges you wrestled with and overcame and also an element of regret…wait… regrets?

    Time is running out; you have to work, you have a blog to write, you have to visit all the places you’ve been meaning to go to, reconnect with all the good people you’ve met to say goodbye & promise to keep in touch, pack up all the excess & get it shipped at the little post office, clean up the apartment so the next teacher doesn’t feel overwhelmed stuck out in the sticks (whereas their ‘friends’ are in cosmopolitan Kobe, splendid Sapporo, cool Kochi and sunny Sakurajima) with just an old fashioned bike as their mode of transportation, you have to arrange letters of reference for future job applications and you have to eat your #1 favourite meal one last time :)

    As someone double your age, with too many Japanese experiences & with numerous published books under my western belt, I wish you lots of luck, strength & success with your dream career writing…unless you are a secret millionaire or get a quick lucky break, you are going to have to fit your writing around a job to pay the bills.

    Life has a habit of interrupting our dreams and before you know it, there is no time left to write, or too many rejection letters wear you down or your biggest supporters waiver in their belief you can make it.

    If it is your real passion, never give up or give in…after all, the grass is always greener but the sun always rises in the morning no matter where in the world you may be :)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow Kathryn, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to write such a heartfelt and encouraging comment. Thank you thank you and I promise you (and myself) to make the most of it.

      Like

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