chizu

And Then My Mother Almost Threw Up

For their last day, I took my parents to the nicest restaurant I had been to in Japan. Right in the heart, as in the very veins of the woods, it was very traditional (in every way possible: food, setting, manner etc) and also very expensive (not that that matters but it does).  And… turns out some traditional Japanese food, much like other traditional foods (cough Iranian sheep’s head for breakfast cough) require some getting used to. These may include okara (soy pulp), konnyaku (devil’s tongue), shiitake mushroom and various pickles.  I guess, more than anything, it’s the texture of these foods that can get to you the most. Anyways, my parents hated the food. Well, my dad said he didn’t mind it but I beg to differ. And my poor mother almost threw up (oh no!) But but but they liked the scenery though! So it wasn’t all crying emojis.

So I was wondering, what foreign foods have freaked you out the most? When my family first moved to NZ from Iran, I personally could not fathom the putrid stench of pork. We had never eaten it back home (not because of religious reasons, we are Bahai’s not Muslims, but because it was not available). Though that changed in time and I started eating bacon with toast. Also, vegemite or marmite. Both of which (don’t lose your shit) taste the same to me. I still don’t understand how these two are edible?! Why?! Especially in a sandwich with lettuce and cheese! Argh! What was my primary school bestie’s mom thinking?! Gross.

Anywho, here are the pictorials and despite my parents’ reaction, I enjoyed the food and maybe you would too heheimage-28image-25
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Review no34 (I started counting again) Talmary in Chizu

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One thing I’ve noticed about Japanese restaurants is that more often, no meal checking is done. In hospitality lingo, meal checking is basically that, checking, after the second or third bite (not too early nor too late) if everything, with the food, is alright. Wait did that rhyme? My Japanese friend reckons this is because, Japanese people are too polite to comment even if they’re unsatisfied. Which is really honorable and all… but, no.

Now, I don’t like/want to be writing bad reviews – as one angry Lower 9th Diner fan/most-likely-employee hate mailed me once: I am not even “certified”.

So, I’mma keep this short cos I don’t want to offend too many people and I don’t want the entire village after me nor to be even more singled out. So , without further ado…

Newly opened Talmary (Chizu) is a beautiful and creatively set out restaurant. It used to be a pre-school which means the majority of the decor centers around little folk, making it salty and original. At the moment, two rooms are in use. They feature comfy couches, packed book cases, a children’s corner, so you can take a break from entertaining your little one (for a while), a log burner and FREE wi-fi. If I weren’t writing this review and so, able to return at some other time, I could totes spend an entire day because the ambience is just that nice. BUT, that, is where my praise stops.

I used to work at an Italian restaurant. And not any restaurant but THE best restaurant in all of NZ. No shit. No bias. Cafe Valentino has the best pizza I have ever tasted and I’ve tasted too many pizzzzas. In other words, I know good pizza. You could even go as far as saying I’m pizza certified. But let’s not. Unfortunately Talmary though, isn’t. Which is a real shame and a true waste because their pizza oven is SO nice (see picture above).

Ah, how I wish I had been meal-checked so that I could have told them, there and then that the dough was RAW (snow white) and clearly needed more time.  And the flavor? Null. Except for perhaps the soy mayonnaise on the first pizza, but like come on, all mayo tastes nice…

*insert sick green emoticon*